Headbands revisited and Uniqlo

IMG_3725For the longest time, I’ve been looking for fast and easy sub-100 yard projects to eat up all of the scrap yarn I’ve accumulated over the years. And after some time gravitating halfway between half rest hand pillows and fugly amigurumi, I think I’ve finally found it: headbands. If you were a patron of my blog during Christmas 2012, you’ll know that I’ve discovered knit headbands once before, but that was forever ago and twenty-two-year-old me was such a knoob (and inept photographer). I have since honed my craft (and stopped taking pictures in my neon green room) and perfected the knit headband, and I am now in the process of knitting away my leftovers by making as many of these bad boys as possible.

IMG_3711The pattern I used is 100% origiknal, but that’s not saying much, given that the entire thing uses the same stitch. The main motif is a basket weave cable (which I creatively googled and copied and passed off as my own design whenever people asked) with a modified seed stitch border. As you can imagine, these headbands knit pretty fast (i.e. 2-3 days), depending on the yarn weight you’re using and how into The Good Wife you are (24 episodes in 6 days. no shame). The basket weave stitch can get a bit redundant, but I will say, for any of you who are irrationally insecure about cables, knit just one of these headbands and you will instantly turn into a cabling fiend. And for those wondering how sartorially successful these headbands turned out:

IMG_3695I present to you Leslie, a classmate of mine from Minnesota, who taught me that a ‘salad’ in the Midwest is very different from what the rest of the country considers it to be (in that it can very possibly contain absolutely nothing nutritious for you whatsoever) and is fabulously sporting my green headband in twenty degree weather while only looking mildly uncomfortable. Good job, Leslie! Also, she thinks corn on pizza is absurd (hate her).

IMG_3700Unfortunately, this particular green headband has already been spoken for, but the gold and white ones are still up for grabs on my etsy (as are some insanely cheap knitting patterns). Alternatively, if you are like me and a member of the i’m-a-broke-twenty-something society, then know that I am not beneath bartering my knits for other types of goods or services (i love pecan pie and baklava).

Okay, so I hesitated to make this next part my ‘Thanksgiving post’ — and it wasn’t due to a lack of embarrassing anecdotes (i once accidentally led my college small group in making construction paper penises). Rather, it was because there have been so many new things in my life recently, and I hadn’t yet had time to figure out what I was truly thankful for (my 89 new friends? getting to go home for Thanksgiving? the two for one hummus sale at Hyde Park Produce?). However, something marvelous happened last week that, to me, takes the cake.

As many of you know, I am absolutely no good at shopping. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy clothes, and I like to think that I have a viable fashion sense (my legs were basically made for chinos), but I have never been able to thrive in the shopping atmosphere. First of all, there are way too many options. Secondly, lighting is almost always inadequate (one time at Express it was so dark an employee scared me and i screamed). And lastly, there are so many people walking around and talking about different things that I constantly forget what I came to buy. Mind you, this is all during normal shopping conditions, so you can imagine what happened when I went Black Friday shopping for the first time a few years ago. And if you can’t imagine, let me just tell you.

9189789752_e92c46cba2_zI fell. at Uniqlo. I fell down their stupid rainbow stairs that are constantly changing colors and reflecting every which way. What’s worse, it was so busy and crowded that no one tried to help me (all i got were weird looks from groups of fashion forward high schoolers), so I had to pick myself up and leave with my bruised ego and shins as fast as possible (after getting some $19.99 colored jeans of course, cuz that’s a steal). It was so sad. I also tripped on the same set of stairs a few months later when I went to pick up some more colored jeans (i really like Uniqlo colored jeans). After that, I basically boycotted Uniqlo’s physical manifestation and resorted to buying my colored jeans from their website instead (it’s not my fault i look amazing in them).

So, I staved off Black Friday and other manic holiday shopping environs since then, afraid of repeating my Uniqlo-apse.

That is, until last Thursday at midnight, when I went shopping at Macy’s along with the hordes of fobs (not sure why that was) and remained upright the entire time (i.e. 60 minutes)! To be honest, it was still overwhelmingly stimulating (i got lost on the escalator for a bit), but I walked in and I walked out just like everybody else, so I consider it a win.

All this to say, I’m thankful for my sisters (who shop for me because they know I may very well get hurt if I try to do it myself), my mom (who dropped me off at Macy’s knowing I had a bone to pick with Black Friday), my dad (who wrote my initials on all my socks in pink Sharpie to distinguish them from his), and my friends, old (who didn’t make fun of me (too much) when I built up the courage to wear my first V-neck) and new (who assured me that it is possible for asians to look good in yellow).

Oh yeah, and I’m also thankful for my colored jeans, because, c’mon, who isn’t?

IMG_2511***Contrary to popular belief, Adidas does not stand for ‘All Day I Dream About Sports’, but rather comes from the name of the brand’s creator, Adolf ‘Adi’ Dassler.



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