Christmas presents and more Christmas presents

In case any of you were wondering why I’ve been so absent this Advent season, it hasn’t been because of a lack of knitting.  Rather, most of the projects I’ve been working on have been Christmas presents, and in an effort to preserve the holiday spirit (…or perhaps the Christmas presence?), I’ve held my tongue thus far.  But, since Christmas is already in full swing, I will open the floodgate that is my mouth and verbally regurgitate/graphically blast you with all of my knittings for the past few weeks.

1. Chromosome 18IMG_1167I first would like to say that I had no intention of making a chromosomal Christmas present.  It all started when I tried to knit tiny gnomes for all my friends.  As you can tell from all of my gnomeless friends, I failed miserably from the beginning.  What you see above is the head, body, and legs of a partially knit knome.  I know, it doesn’t look like much.  There’s no neck and everything’s all disproportionate.  I was supposed to knit arms and a hat and attach them, but we all know it would’ve been a lost cause.  So, I abandoned all further attempts, but not without taking a quick picture for all of my karyotypic connoisseurs, who will readily recognize my fail gnome as most resemblant to chromosome 18.

2. Christmas present present

IMG_1177No, I’m not being repetitively redundant, I meant to say “present” twice.  You see, after failing so badly at knitting gnomes, I decided to give myself a little ego boost by playing a game I call, “I could make that,”  in which I scroll through Etsy pages pointing to various things saying, “I could make that.”  And about 3 pages in, I saw tiny knitted Christmas presents with little faces on them, and unlike the past 50 items I had just claimed to be able to make, I put my needles where my mouth was and actually made them.  And what you see above is the finished product.  I didn’t think I could pull off a cute face in the corner, so I just knit a loop at the top so it could be hung as a Christmas ornament or on one’s rear view mirror.

There was something else I wanted to say about this… oh yeah #imsometa.

3. Herringbone cowl… again

IMG_1161I know by now you are tired of hearing me praise the name of the Herringbone stitch yet again, but c’mon, how are you not still amazed at how cool this stitch looks?!  Okay, fine, enough with the Herringbone, I’ll move on.

Technically, this wasn’t a present because I received money for it, but in the spirit of the holidays, I made sure to mix in an extra portion of love and care between my knits and purls (excuse me while I throw up a little bit).

4. Mens slouchy beanie revisited

IMG_1163Before you leave this blog to recheck Facebook for the 20th time thinking that I’m just posting pictures of things I’ve already made in the past, let me say that this beanie is a revised version of the mens beanie that I wrote about a few months back.  After making a handful of normal beanies, I was approached by someone (for the sake of confidentiality let’s just call her Zoe Tamaki) who solicited me (I really need to figure out another word for that) to make her a beanie, but with less slouch.  As it turns out, it’s okay for guys to wear beanies with a bunch of room on the top and just let it sit up there, but not for girls.  So, I went back to the blocking board and revised the pattern to decrease the slouch by 25%, and what you see above is what I came up with.  To clarify, this beanie you see is just a test balloon, made with some leftover yarn to determine if the pattern would work or not.  Pics of the actual thing soon to come.  Bated breath is expected of all readers.

5. Reindeer hand warmers

IMG_1277Admit it, you can’t go through the holidays without knitting something fair isle, so I picked out this easy hand warmer pattern, slapped a red reindeer on it and BAM! Instant Christmas present.  These hand warmers are a part of my Christmas present for my sisters (one for each of them), and I prepared an entire sentimental speech in which I explained that no matter how far apart they were from each other, they could look at their respective hand warmer and know that somewhere out there, its complement would be warming the opposite hand of the other sister.  But, if you’ll look at the picture above closely, you’ll notice that these two hand warmers are identical (i.e. these are two right handed hand warmers).  I didn’t even notice this until I tried both on before wrapping them.  So, with my metaphor being completely shot and knowing that a single hand warmer is completely useless by itself, I essentially gave my sisters a picture of a reindeer.

6. Complementary miniature pillows (aka an attempt at restoring my shattered metaphor)

IMG_1274Since I was determined to deliver this “two parts of a whole” metaphor (but mostly since I had extra yarn of both colors), I went on to make matching pillows that, when put together, ask, “Where my stitches at?”

First off, let me say that my sisters find this pun incredibly hilarious and not at all crude, so no one hate on me for alluding to the idea that I would ever call my sisters “stitches” (which I wouldn’t, by the way, but even if I did my sisters would find this pun incredibly hilarious and not at all crude, so don’t hate on me for, well, yeah, everything I just said).  I also stole this catch phrase from the front page of Ravelry, whose webmasters, it turns out, have a surprising amount of sass.

And here are my sisters with their pillows, their faces glowing with the joy and love that comes from being filled with the Christmas spirit.

IMG_1304There they are.  The two best stitches a brother could ask for.

Mm, still not too sure on the appropriateness of that statement, so before you leave me hate comments, know that I wrote that with the utmost reservation.

7. Anthropologie headband

IMG_1284For those of you who stuck with me reading this post to the very end, I congratulate you/worry about your social life and present to you a headband styled after Anthropologie’s braided headwrap.  It’s a pretty basic cable connected in a round, but I followed a pattern (with some minor adjustments) nonetheless just to be careful.  These headwraps are actually pretty simple to make, so hit me up if you a) would like one and b) know me (criterion b is mainly to prevent any awkward interactions).

Well, that’s everything I’ve made!  I won’t share any stories of Christmas miracles, anecdotes of being a male knitter, or particularly funny social situations I’ve placed myself in because you’re probably tired of reading and would like to go back to enjoying the holidays, but thank you all for your time and your literate minds for perusing my writing.  My blog greatly appreciates the attention.  And if it means anything, I consider all of you my stitches.  You’re welcome.

***Chromosome 18 contains between 300 and 400 genes, and defects of this chromosome can lead to disorders such as Edwards syndrome and selective mutism.


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