If you knit a lot, then you will inevitable accumulate a huge stockpile of half-used skeins (which I recently learned is pronounced “sk-eye-ns” and not “sk-ee-ns”) of varying weights, colors, and materials. But for some reason, you always think it’s a good idea to go out and buy more yarn. What’s worse is, the left over yarn that you have is probably crap (aka Red Heart Super Saver. Yes, this stuff is indeed crap and a sorry excuse for yarn) and you don’t want to put it into anything you’ll eventually wear. Well, here’s your solution:
I present to you my very first knitted blanket! I know the lighting’s not too great and I couldn’t decide on how to pose the blanket to show off its best features. Here’s another picture I took. I was going for the casual, nonchalant vibe for this one:
I did not come up with this pattern by myself, and to give due credit, I received this pattern online at whipup.net, which is run by someone named Kathreen (not Kathleen) Ricketson. Thank you, Kathreen, for the free pattern! The waves are surprisingly simple to do, and they look nice. The hardest part, was probably finding the right color combinations. For it to work out each of the colors has to be very deep and not a blend of two colors.
Anyway, this rainbow patterned blanket turned out to be a lot smaller than expected so it is now a baby blanket/lapghan/couch throw. And the best part about this blanket is that it used up some of my extra yarn that was sitting in my closet. (Actually I didn’t have enough for some colors, as seen by the thinner blue stripe on the blanket). If you do use cheap worsted weight yarn for this, it might feel a bit rough, making this blanket better to use as something to keep you warm while you’re already fully clothed. Or give it to babies, because I don’t think they care if things feel soft or not.
Having never knitted a blanket before, it took a lot longer than I expected, which meant I ended up sitting on the couch working on this a lot longer than I expected, which meant that I ended up watching Law and Order a lot longer than I expected. Granted, I already watch tons of Law and Order (the original only. SVU if it’s not airing. CI if I’m really desperate) when I’m doing nothing at home, but while working on this blanket, I think I may have reached my limit. And after watching so many episodes, I think I’ve gotten the formula down pat:
1) Cold open: 2-3 people (lovers, co-workers, classmates) walking and talking, stumble upon dead body. Cut to police roping off area, CSU taking pictures, and police officer giving the details of the victim to 2 detectives (e.g. Fontana/Green, Green/Briscoe, Curtis/Briscoe, Benson/Stabler, Goren/Eames, etc.). Detectives give quippy remark about the death (e.g. when finding a student victim: “Looks like this one’s a couple credits short”)
2) Investigation: series of interviews with friends and enemies, detectives act harsh to the obvious enemy but he/she is exonerated. Undergo good cop/bad cop routine, uncover evidence indicating least likely person, take him/her down for questioning, about to get a confession when lawyer enters and says, “This conversation is over.”
3) Case: Always starts with arraignment, prosecution always seeks remand without bail, exchange of pithy remarks between lawyers and judge. Pleas are bargained, no one talks, case goes to trial. DA (McCoy, Cutter, Novak, etc.) along with ADA (who is always played by an ex-model) always too harsh on witness, with judge saying “You’re on thin ice, McCoy, any further and I’ll hold you in contempt.”
4) Ending: Either ends with plea or jury reaching a verdict. At the very end, the prosecutors are packing up for the day when the old guy (not really sure what his role is) says something sad but true about the state of the world with regards to justice.
I have to stop talking now so I can gather up the small bit of dignity I have left, but go visit whipup.net and make yourself a rainbow blanket!
***The medical term for castration is orchiectomy.